Decker's Birth Story

Hard to believe we've had our little Decker boy in our lives for a whole month. Going in to labor I had no idea what to expect, I had talked to a lot of people abut their experiences and I was anxious and excited to see what mine would be like. Its hard to say if it went how I expected but I can honestly say that it was just what I needed

Thursday March10^th I had my 39 week check up. At my appointment the week before my cervix was already soft and thin so at this appointment my Doctor, Dr Tyson, swept my membranes- not the most pleasant experience but I was willing to try anything that might get baby here. I left the office not feeling much different but that night I was very crampy and felt like I was up tossing and turning all night. I was worried that every night was going to be like that from then on, little did I know that was the last night sleep before baby would be arriving! Early in the pregnancy my due date was bumped forward a few days but at my appointment Dr Tyson told me that she wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up in the hospital before my current due date March 17.  So with that in my head I felt even more motivated to get this baby out! I had already been walking on the treadmill daily for the last couple weeks and had been drinking raspberry leaf tea- yuck! I decided to take it to the next level though and with advice from Amy went and bought some castor oil and a raspberry booster juice. So Friday around 2 I drank half the bottle of castor oil mixed with the booster juice. I was surprised that the taste and consistency didn’t bother me too much and I was able to get it down no problem. I walked on the treadmill for 10-15 minutes and then decided to try and take a nap. My back had been feeling sore all day and I had been using a heating pad but at this point it was bothering me so much that a nap was impossible. I got up around 5 and was feeling even more crampy. I wasn’t sure if it was just the castor oil upsetting my stomach or if these were real contractions. I think I was hesitant to let myself think that this could actually be it and that baby could be coming a lot sooner then we had thought! As the evening went on the pain was getting worse so I decided to take a shower. I ended up staying in there for an hour and it seemed to help until I got out and realized how much things had progressed. Earlier in the day I had put ribs in the crock pot but the thought of eating them made me sick so Rope ate alone and then brought me an English muffin with jam, which was the only thing that sounded remotely appetizing.  Rope had planned on going to an Elders quorum bowling party but when we realized that this could be it so he decided to stay home.(in other words I panicked at the thought of him leaving me) After texting with our sisters we decided that we better head to the hospital, even if we got sent home then at least I would get checked. It was so surreal as we drove to the hospital and parked the car we were nervous and so excited. By the time we got to the hospital at midnight my contractions were every few minutes. I was able to breath through them fine but the worst part was the pain in my back. With each contraction I would have Rope push as hard as he could on my lower back to try and feel some relief. We were placed in an assessment room right away so I was able to have a bed to lay in which was so nice. We waited in that room for a while and eventually a 4^th year med student and a nurse came in to ask me some questions and check how dilated I was. I was so disappointed when they told me that I was 2cm dilated because I knew that meant I would be sent home to wait and progress. They gave me a shot of morphine for the pain (which did nothing but make my leg sore) and told me they would be back to check on me in about 20 minutes. I immediately started praying that I would dilate. For my entire pregnancy getting to the hospital and getting to stay at the hospital was what I had been most nervous and worried about. I had heard stories of being sent away and then almost not making it back in time to have the baby at the hospital and I did not want that! Especially with this being my first I was scared of not knowing when to go back to the hospital and so the idea of going home at this point terrified me. While we waited I even went as far as thinking positive thoughts about my cervix opening ;) What was supposed to be a 20 minute wait turned into closer to an hour, but I was grateful for every extra minute if it meant I could possibly get to stay. Finally the nurse came in to check on us and I asked to be checked again before we were sent home. She checked me and we were thrilled to find out that I was now dilated to 4cm and this meant that we would be admitted. So at 2:30 I changed into a hospital gown and it started setting in that we would not be leaving the hospital without our baby. We decided to take a walk down the hallway but didn’t make it very far because my contractions were much worse. Rope bought me a Caramilk bar but I could hardly eat a square of it, food just didn’t taste good. By 4 o’clock the contractions were getting so bad they had me in tears. We asked the nurse if we could be moved to labor and delivery as soon as there was room so that I could get an epidural. Going into labor I didn’t have an exact birth plan but in this moment I knew I was already so tired from being up all day and now most of the night and so I couldn’t wait to feel some relief from the epidural. At 4:30 we were moved to a labor unit room. Right away they gave me a short acting narcotic because the anesthesiologist was busy and they weren’t sure when she would be able to get to me, this seemed to help a bit as we waited for the anesthesiologist. Finally at 6 o’clock I got the epidural. Going in I had been nervous for the needle but at this point a poke and some burning in my back was much better then the pain from contractions that I had been feeling for the last 12 hours. The anesthesiologist ended up placing the epidural and then taking it out and replacing it in a different position. They told me that in about 10-15 minutes I should feel some relief, but the time passed and I could still feel everything. The anesthesiologist came back in and adjusted the epidural and switched to some stronger medication, she told me that if it wasn’t working in another 10-15 minutes she would take it out and re-do it. I was not looking forward to having it re-done, the epidural itself wasn’t painful to get but sitting perfectly still was getting to be impossible with each contraction. The nurses told me to go use the washroom before she came back to re-do the epidural and it wasn’t until I tried to stand up that I realized it had started to work and I was definitely feeling numb. Over the next few minutes the pain went away until I couldn’t even tell when I was having a contraction- It was amazing! Finally at 7:30 we were able to get some rest since we had both been awake all day and all night. The nurses came and checked on me regularly and had me switch positions in the bed quite often because they were worried about the variability of baby’s heart rate. At 9 o’clock the resident doctor came in and broke my water with what looked like a giant crochet hook, this was very weird since I couldn't feel anything because of the epidural, I actually had to ask Rope if anything was happening. I was now dilated to 6cm. They also attached an internal monitor to baby’s head so that they could get a more accurate reading of the heart rate. At 10:30 our nurse gave me some oxytocin to help keep things progressing. She told us that we would most likely have the baby around suppertime. Since early on in labor Rope had it in his head that he would like the baby to be born by noon for some reason, we told our nurse this and she didn’t think that at the rate I was progressing this would be a possibility. I hadn’t eaten anything all night so when they offered me some grape jello I ate it up and it tasted like the best thing I’d ever had. At 11 o’clock I got out of bed and sat on a birthing ball, at this point I was starting to feel pain in my back again and some pain with each contraction. I was starting to feel some pressure too so our nurse decided to check me since I hadn't been checked since arriving in our labor and delivery room. We were all surprised when she said she could feel and actually see the baby’s head. Rope was also able to see the baby’s head! I couldn’t believe that it was going to be time to start pushing! More nurses came into the room and the resident and attending doctors. They prepped me for labor and then it was time to push. After 4 contractions Decker Michael Smith was born on March 12 just before lunch at 11:59am he weighed 7lbs 4oz and was 20.5inches long. They let Rope announce the gender and we both couldn’t believe it! Our little baby boy was finally here- he had dark hair, which I was surprised to see, tiny chubby fingers and a little sucked in lower lip. He was perfect and he was ours. They laid him on me as soon as he was born and I couldn’t believe the love I felt, it was overwhelming. This was our little boy and I was his mommy. Rope also got to cut the cord and then we both took turns staring at him and falling more and more in love with him. Rope was so great though labor, always making sure I was as comfortable as I could be, even holding up my cup so I could take a drink and applying my lip chap for me. I honestly could not have done it without his support and encouragement. Decker has been such a great baby all the doctors and nurses were so impressed with how calm and content he was- he never cried when he was checked. Breastfeeding for the first time was also an amazing experience Decker latched right on like he’d been doing it all his life and has been a great eater ever since. We have just been in newborn heaven!
I look back on Decker’s birth story and love it; I wouldn’t change any part of it! I feel so blessed that it was perfect for us and it brought us our sweet baby boy!
 

-Baby Smith-

Hard to believe there are a few short weeks left before Baby Smith will be here! We are so excited!!! A few months ago I came across this quote and it really spoke to me,
"Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come" Joseph F. Smith

Very few people know but Baby smith did not come to be the way we had planned.
I can remember when we were first married and were talking about when we wanted to start having kids, I thought I was ready right then but Rope thought we should wait a year. I was sure that year was going to take forever to pass. Well fast forward 2 very speedy years and we felt ready to start our family. It was summer 2013 and the first month I was sure it was going to happen, I was so excited at the thought of a baby. Unfortunately pregnancy didn't happen that month and continued to not happen for us.
We were very fortunate to be living in Saskatoon during this time where there is a new fertility clinic. We started seeing a specialist in the Winter of 2015. We had a great doctor throughout everything and knowing that we were receiving the best care was so comforting. Our infertility was "unexplained". I can remember when the Doctor told us this after numerous test. I was relieved in a way, that it wasn't anything more serious, but at the same time it was so frustrating that there really was no good reason we weren't getting pregnant. I would get so down on myself feeling sorry for the situation we were in and how unfair it was. All around us people were starting and growing there families and it felt like we were stuck. However, I also had lots of experiences during this time that gave me hope just when I was ready to give up. There were moments of peace when I was sure that we would have a baby but that I just needed to be patient and remember that Heavenly Father truly is in charge. Since we had been married for 3 years naturally we had been asked the question "So when are you going to start having kids" the first few times it was hard for me to hold back the tears while I made up some fake excuse. I don't know if I can say that it ever got easier but I got better at brushing it off.
In the end we got pregnant the month we decided to take a break from any treatments or doctors appointments and just relax. The decision to sit and do nothing was a hard one because it felt like we would be wasting time, but I truly feel like we had to get to that point, we were relying on Heavenly Father to comfort us and help us get through it. Nothing was ever able to be explained to us about or infertility, but I don't care, we are just so thankful to have a baby on the way!

Our journey to start our family wasn't anything like how I thought or tried to plan it would happen, but I wouldn't change it either. It was not easy but the perspective I have gained through this trial is priceless. Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us and knows what we can handle and what we need better then we know for ourselves. I know that Heavenly Father is also ready and waiting to bless us,  those blessing will come in his timing, but they will come! I also gained alot of perspective on the lives of others, you really never know what is going on in someones life. I have tried to be more conscious and thoughtful of this and to just show more love to those around me. I want to be a person that lifts others and brings them happiness just as people were able to do for me when I was struggling.
Now hurry up and get here baby we have been waiting!

reflection then redirection

Since I'm currently serving in the Primary in our ward this gives me the opportunity to do sharing time every couple months.
I'll admit this was one of the things i was most terrified to do when i received my calling.  I have never been fan of public speaking, big group or small group it doesn't matter. I hated the idea of getting up in front of the entire primary and winging it. I'm the type that when I give a talk {or make a phone call} I write down absolutely every word that I'm going to say and under no circumstance do I change the plan.
HOWEVER
Through this calling I can almost say that I have conquered my fear of public speaking- at least in this situation. I have started looking forward to the months that I get to prepare a sharing time.
I know that I am learning WAY more then what I am ever teaching the kids, but that ok because I probably need to hear everything way more then they need to.
while preparing sharing time for next week I came across this quote:

I remember hearing this talk and thinking what a great message that was, but soon I forgot and I haven't thought of this particular talk since. I know that as I am able to try to keep in tune with the spirit I can receive these special messages that are just for me. 

It's hard for me to always feel grateful. When things aren't going exactly how I've planned or I feel frustrated or like I'm the only one who feel this way its too easy to focus on all the bad. 

I know there are always going to be things in my life that aren't going perfectly- but as I am able to take a step back I can recognize all the things that are right in my life.

Rope and I were married in the temple and can be together forever.

Even though we live far away from family we are so blessed to have some family living right in Saskatoon with us.

I have a job and can provide for our family. Looking back I can recognize so many ways we have been blessed because I have this particular job.

Rope will graduate with a Degree from University this year.

We were able to house sit a beautiful home for the last 7 months. We were so fortunate that we were in a place in our lives that we could take this opportunity.

I have a body that works and can be active and I am learning to not take this simple fact for granted

I have a wonderful calling that gives me these opportunities for reflection and then redirection.

As I look at the bigger picture of our lives, and not focus on little things, I can more easily see that we are so blessed.

sisters... sisters...

Let me just start off by saying I LOVE MY SISTERS
I don't know how my parents managed to do it but we all get along!.. and with 5 girls who are all different that seems like a miracle to me!
Of course growing up {and sometimes still} there was some drama {who took my shirt?!... my turn on the computer!} but we always worked though it and ended up "best sisters" again.
I think now that there are more siblings out of the house then at home it has made me appreciate them even more and love the times we all get to be together again.
I love group chatting with them and catching up on the lastest funny thing trey or claire did/ysa activity/basketball game/sleepover. It's just like when we were all living together and we would have sister meetings with the Barbie airplane intercom :)
Somehow we survived many loooooong road trips together all in the same vehicle without seriously hurting each other- again good job Mom and Dad!
I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood with my sisters, all the forts, Barbies and made up movies! Even when we found out Abby was on the way! {I can only speak for myself though :P}
I love laughing with them! Some of my funniest memories are with my sisters being silly.
I know I can always count on them to cheer me up or to just be there to talk- Sisters make the best friends!
I can't wait to get to watch them all continue to grow- for my younger sisters to graduate, make life plans, get married, start families. For my older sister to continue to build her family and for the chance I have to be such a big part of her kids lives :)

I don't know how people can go through life without a sister.. and I'm even luckier I got 4!

 

out with the old and in with the new

2013 was full of ups's and downs for us.
We have enjoyed our time in Saskatoon, Moved to a bigger and brighter house, had an awesome summer with each other and our families and have enjoyed our ward and new callings.
This year however we lost two special members of our family- My cousin Brynn and Rope's Grandmas Dixie both after battling cancer. We are so grateful for the wonderful example they gave us of loving and living life to the fullest everyday.

With this in mind we start the new year with a renewed motivation to always be improving ourselves. This year I have learned so much and have grown spiritually. I am more aware of how much I need and rely on my Heavenly Father everyday and this has helped me to develop a better realationship with him. I am grateful for the experiences I have had in my life and how they help me to recognize and appreciate all the ways I am blessed.

We had a wonderful Christmas in Alberta! We went to the movies, out to eat, watched Basketball games at the sugar bowl, played monopoly, catch phrase and heads up and ate a lot of treats.

We had some good laughs and some good cries- we are so blessed with such amazing families.

We are excited to see what 2014 has in store for us.

Annual Christmas Eve pyramid

One of my Favorite gifts this year- a homemade
dough artnativity from
Ropes Mom

My other favorite present from my Mom.
Rope LOVES the red and I can't wait to use it :)

Trying out Rope's present from his parents

I guess we're hunters now :P

most wonderful

Christmas is by far my favorite time of year.

This year we set up our tree November 2. Yes I am one of those people.. And I am happy to be one! Our Christmas tree makes me happy so I think why wait!? I am loving how cozy our house feels with the tree on, I love having our beautiful nativity set up and I love all the red, green and gold.

I'm enjoying all the pre-Christmas prep but what I'm looking forward to most is going back to Alberta and being with our families. The last couple months have a lot of ups and downs for both of our families so we are so grateful for time this holiday season to be with them.

My family is all pretty big on Christmas and Brynn was one of the biggest fans of all. She loved to be cozy, she loved to get the tree up and start listening to Christmas music as soon as she could and she especially loved to give. She was a huge example to me of always remembering the true meaning of Christmas.

I'm grateful for this time of year and the chance it gives us to re-evaluate our lives and remember what is most important. I'm grateful for the opportunity to celebrate the birth of Christ, the miracles he performed during his life and the perfect example he set for us to follow.

just for me

Don't you love when you hear something and it seems like it was meant just for you?
I love that! And it seems like for me more often then not the thing I hear is a song.
One of theses times happened to me when I was driving home from church today.
We have the same CD in the car to listen to on our way to and home from church every week and I got the CD in young women's so I'm sure I've heard the song 100 times.... But today was different.

If you would like to hear the beautiful song by Jenny Phillips this was the only place on YouTube I could find it... I love the message it shares. Enjoy!

life takes bravery

The last couple days has had me thinking a lot about STRONG women.

I have been blessed in my life to have some amazing people around me..

Here are a couple I've been thinking about lately :)

My sister-in-law Lyndsay is AMAZING! To read about her story visit her blog... 
you won't regret it!

In short I am soooo impressed with how she has handled everything that has been put in her life this year and I continue to be impressed with her. Love ya Lynz!

My cousin Brynn is a little power house! She has recently been re-diagnosed with cancer. Brynn is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful 13-year-old you would ever meet. She has the biggest heart and the biggest smile to go with it. I'm so grateful for her example of strength and determination! 

Go Team Brynn! 

{My sister Amy is running in the Santa Shuffle December 1, 2012 for a Childhood Cancer Canada Charity event, if you would like to support Brynn and all other Kids faced with Cancer you can make a Donation to Childhood Cancer Canada here}


And here's a happy thought..
"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. … If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." - Gordon B. Hinckley