Hard to believe there are a few short weeks left before Baby Smith will be here! We are so excited!!! A few months ago I came across this quote and it really spoke to me,
"Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come" Joseph F. Smith
Very few people know but Baby smith did not come to be the way we had planned.
I can remember when we were first married and were talking about when we wanted to start having kids, I thought I was ready right then but Rope thought we should wait a year. I was sure that year was going to take forever to pass. Well fast forward 2 very speedy years and we felt ready to start our family. It was summer 2013 and the first month I was sure it was going to happen, I was so excited at the thought of a baby. Unfortunately pregnancy didn't happen that month and continued to not happen for us.
We were very fortunate to be living in Saskatoon during this time where there is a new fertility clinic. We started seeing a specialist in the Winter of 2015. We had a great doctor throughout everything and knowing that we were receiving the best care was so comforting. Our infertility was "unexplained". I can remember when the Doctor told us this after numerous test. I was relieved in a way, that it wasn't anything more serious, but at the same time it was so frustrating that there really was no good reason we weren't getting pregnant. I would get so down on myself feeling sorry for the situation we were in and how unfair it was. All around us people were starting and growing there families and it felt like we were stuck. However, I also had lots of experiences during this time that gave me hope just when I was ready to give up. There were moments of peace when I was sure that we would have a baby but that I just needed to be patient and remember that Heavenly Father truly is in charge. Since we had been married for 3 years naturally we had been asked the question "So when are you going to start having kids" the first few times it was hard for me to hold back the tears while I made up some fake excuse. I don't know if I can say that it ever got easier but I got better at brushing it off.
In the end we got pregnant the month we decided to take a break from any treatments or doctors appointments and just relax. The decision to sit and do nothing was a hard one because it felt like we would be wasting time, but I truly feel like we had to get to that point, we were relying on Heavenly Father to comfort us and help us get through it. Nothing was ever able to be explained to us about or infertility, but I don't care, we are just so thankful to have a baby on the way!
Our journey to start our family wasn't anything like how I thought or tried to plan it would happen, but I wouldn't change it either. It was not easy but the perspective I have gained through this trial is priceless. Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us and knows what we can handle and what we need better then we know for ourselves. I know that Heavenly Father is also ready and waiting to bless us, those blessing will come in his timing, but they will come! I also gained alot of perspective on the lives of others, you really never know what is going on in someones life. I have tried to be more conscious and thoughtful of this and to just show more love to those around me. I want to be a person that lifts others and brings them happiness just as people were able to do for me when I was struggling.
Now hurry up and get here baby we have been waiting!